βœ–

francislare:

spoopyspiders:

francislare:

consciouslyΒ refers to the walk of shame as the walk of pride because having a healthy and active sex life is nothing to be ashamed about

  • stride of pride
  • touched a butt strutΒ 
  • got laid parade
  • had a thing swing
  • removed the pants dance
  • g-spot trot
  • touched a tit, time to split
  • licked a cooch scoochΒ 

Yes

juilan:

There’s a helicopter circling my neighborhood. I knew I shouldn’t have torrented the complete 2nd season of Wizards Of Waverly Place

unamusedsloth:

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil"

unamusedsloth:

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil"

sexualbae:

so there’s this guy that goes to a school near me and he doesn’t have a prom date nor does he really want one but his friends made him a facebook page to get him one and they literally just constantly post pictures of himΒ 

penice:

hungarian:

sleeping naked is very dangerous bc if someone breaks into your house at night it would be very embarrassing to fight him off while naked

image

rubyetc:

universal truths 

rubyetc:

universal truthsΒ 

lambhoof:

I have a special folder for photos of small dogs snoozing on large sleeping places.

stephenhawqueen:

how come girls line the bottoms of their eyes and look so pretty but when i do i look like 2005 pete wentz?? how come girls wear all black and look so pretty but i look like 2005 pete wentz??? how come girls can have side bangs and look so pretty but when i do i look like 2005 pete wentz??? how do girls do anything without looking like 2005 pete wentz???

thatfunnyblog:

Kristen Stewart has had a busy week

thatfunnyblog:

Kristen Stewart has had a busy week

do you ever just have to take a moment because you get overwhelmed at how visibly perfect someone isΒ 

drunkblogging:

sometimes u just gotta lay on the floor with ur dogΒ 

nonstopkarma:

I KNOW WHICH ONE I’M NOT FUCKIN TOUCHING

nonstopkarma:

I KNOW WHICH ONE I’M NOT FUCKIN TOUCHING

we joke about procrastination but nothing is worse than the nauseating feeling of having every intention of doing something but physically not being capable of doing it and then feeling like you want to throw up because the deadline is just getting closer and closer.

tagged: #me rn  #help 
At the groceries store

calakazam:

toyota:

Me:Β can u give me xΒ²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(xΒ²+8xy^3) of potatoes please

Seller:Β I dont understand

Me:Β well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain

those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes